Every day, you communicate with someone, to some degree, but how effective is your personal brand of communication? Speaking with a family member, talking to your boss or your employees, or even standing in line at the grocery store requires communication on some level. 

Learning to hone your communication skills will grant you more power over your life. When you master the skill of effective communication, the world is your oyster. Check out these helpful suggestions, and consider elements of your own communication style as you explore. 

Choose your words wisely

Though many different elements are involved in effective communication, choosing the right words is one of the most important aspects to master. If you want to convey a message to someone, clarity and brevity are vital. 

Take the time to define your goals and the audience to which you’re speaking before determining a verbal formula for your point. If you’re about to head into a very important conversation, it’s helpful to take your thoughts to paper. 

Write down the key points to want to convey, avoiding unnecessary words and overtly fluffy language. Adding too much fluff to your words will distract from the message you’re trying to communicate. 

Preparation is helpful

It’s wise to know what you’re going to say before you enter into any type of communication, but being truly prepared takes more than just writing a few notes. True preparation means that you have taken the time to consider the entirety of the conversation you’re preparing to enter. 

“Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared.”

― Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability

Consider how your message may be received, and take the time to think about some of the possible questions or responses that may be thrown your way. Communication is more than just sending a message. You have to be open to listening to the response as well. 

Learn to understand nonverbal cues

Learning to understand the importance of nonverbal cues will help make you a better communicator overall. Facial expressions, hand gestures, the volume and tone of your voice, and body language all create a nonverbal message when communicating. The nonverbal cues of the people or person receiving your message are important but don’t forget to mind your nonverbal cues as well. 

If you’re trying to convey a calming sentiment, but you’re speaking loudly with a firm tone, sitting with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face, confusion is likely to occur. Mixed messages thwart clear communication. Research shows that nonverbal cues can have between 70 and 93 percent more impact than the spoken word. 

Be mindful of your tone

Effective communication involves the proper use of tone. Tone is about more than just the volume of your speech. When you deliver a message, the tone you choose can either add power to your message or it can undermine your communication attempt entirely. 

How you say something is just as important as the words you choose. While speaking with someone, your tone is made up of the volume of your voice, the strength in which you project your voice, the intonation of your speech, and the words you choose to speak.

Be mindful of the connotation and denotation of the words you use. Words with strong negative connotations can throw the listener off, distract from your message, and lead to misunderstanding. 

The tone of your speech is especially important when engaging in a heated discussion. Effective communication is easily lost when passion overrides the point. In a tense situation, remember that tone is easier to control in writing. 

Write out what you want to say. Take the time to read it aloud, and consider allowing a trusted confidant to read it as well. Sometimes a second opinion is a crucial element when finding the right tone. 

Listening is part of communication

Finally, always remember that active listening is a vital part of effective communication. In Mastering The Basics Of Communication, communication expert, Marjorie North, of Harvard Professional Development Programs, has openly stated that people “only hear about half of what the other person says during any given conversation.” 

“Every good leader has something to say. Yet, many of us don’t take the time to polish and shape how we communicate those ideas to others or ponder how others may receive our message.”

— Marjorie North, Harvard Professional Development

The true goal of active listening is not only to hear all of the words a person says but to take the whole picture in as they are speaking. Consider these active listening tips next time you’re engaged in a conversation. 

• Listen to the speaker, affording them your undivided attention. – Fiddling with your phone or engaging in other activities while someone is talking tells them that you’re not fully invested in what they have to say. 
• Clear your mind of counter-arguments and judgment. – When you’re too busy focusing on what you’re going to say next, you don’t give the speaker a fair chance to communicate their message. 
• Avoid the temptation to interrupt. – Let the speaker finish what they are trying to say before injecting your thoughts into the conversation. 
• Keep your body language under control. – Think before you physically react to what someone is saying. 
• Rephrase or paraphrase what you’ve just heard for clarification. – Repeating back in your own words what someone is communicating to you will help to make certain you’re both on the same page. 
• Ask open-ended questions, and don’t be afraid of silence. – Ask questions about what you’ve just heard, and give the person plenty of time to respond. You’ll find that a little silence goes a long way when actively listening to someone’s message. 

Now that you’re equipped with some basic communication tools, get out there and test your understanding. Talk to your coworkers. Talk to family members. Talk to strangers, and remember that practice makes perfect.